Business News Buff Gifts

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

Despite recent uncertainty, analysts said today they will continue to make predictions.

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

'In the early morning trading, stocks moved lower on the news that the worst days to invest in stocks are those that contain a vowel.'

'Financial stocks fluctuated widely today on rumours fund managers were using performance enhancing drugs.'

'How are our shares doing?'

The entertainment sector performed well on news that there is no business like show business.

'Today the word on the street was 'Beam me up Scotty'.'

'Media stocks rose on news that Warren Buffett, a real smart feller, brought the Omaha World-Herald.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"They grow up so fast."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

A fight in the Boardroom.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"What's a debenture?"

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

CEO with SEO

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art