Financial Markets Buff Gifts

STRIP Hambone: Money market warning indicator

The day the stock market went UP.

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

'The bad news is that we lost a lot of money last quarter... The good news is that it was a record.'

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

Dow Jones drop

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

Standard & Poor

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

That Awkward Moment When You Discover That Wall Street's Insanity Is Helping You

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

'All those in favor of requesting a government bailout, say 'Karl Marx'.'

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

"I rob from the poor and give to the rich."

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

There will be no economics report...our economics reporter got caught in the tech carnage...

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

I brake for federal bailouts.

A man is selling, 'Cameron voodoo dolls', outside of job centre.

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

"And, of course, this is when all our loose change fell out of our pockets."

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'