Market Analysis Buff Gifts

'There are no strangers, Henderson - Only unexploited markets.'

The day the stock market went UP.

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

'The bad news is that we lost a lot of money last quarter... The good news is that it was a record.'

Dow Jones drop

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

That Awkward Moment When You Discover That Wall Street's Insanity Is Helping You

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

'All those in favor of requesting a government bailout, say 'Karl Marx'.'

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

A man is selling, 'Cameron voodoo dolls', outside of job centre.

I brake for federal bailouts.

"I rob from the poor and give to the rich."

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

Sales Chart: Boomerangs LTD

There will be no economics report...our economics reporter got caught in the tech carnage...

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

"And, of course, this is when all our loose change fell out of our pockets."

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'You wouldn't threaten your bank manager...er...maybe...'

"The minimum wage is being upgraded, so how about the minimum allowance?"

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'