Market Buff Gifts

'Read an investment book that changed my life...please help.'

"When I pass away, don't make the announcement until after the closing bell so as not to affect the stock market."

Investments: We welcome both bulls and 'bares'!

"I told you everyone would come as a bull or a bear..."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

The day the stock market went UP.

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

A fight in the Boardroom.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"What's a debenture?"

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

If nobody had invented graphics

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

I'm a self-made man!

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"