Marketing Buff Gifts

'I'm torn between brand loyalty & changing trends in the consumer experience.'

'Ok, the mailing list didn't work well, but do we have to burn it?'

Free Eyetest.

'All your focus groups say the whiskers have to go.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

A fight in the Boardroom.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"What's a debenture?"

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

If nobody had invented graphics

I'm a self-made man!

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.