Branding Buff Gifts

'I don't know what it means, but sales have skyrocketed since I put the 'i' in front of it.'

"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"

"It's very nice, Sir... But is it consistent with the voice of our brand?"

"You'll fins some mints on the pillow, polishing our brand."

Advertising Agency - "What we need is a catchy slogan, something to hide the facts."

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

Brand names.

Our New Slogan: Make Money.

"Until we get reaction to the campaign, I want you to pretend it's your idea."

Starbucks gets a radio station; "Funny, whenever I listen to this station I get a craving for a caramel frappuccino."

Turning 'Raw Hype' Into 'Pure Hype'

Branding Donald Trump.

STRIP *Shelf Life * Language of brand name experts

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"...all you've got to do is come up with a product."

"We have to decide between 'contains miracle ZE-49' or 'guaranteed free of harmful ZE-49'."

"I think you should change the company name, Mr Swill"

"Bad news - Buddy flipped the van, spilling eight crates of samples into rush-hour traffic. Good news - the van flipped logo-side up."

"Perfect. Kate and Eli are suckers for bold graphics."

'The guts of the plan JB, is that we make you into something of a sex object.'

SupermarketAwful Market.

'Make it something that rhymes with 'evaporate'.'

The Company That Makes That Gelatinous Stuff Found on Canned Hams.

"So… any progress on this rebranding initiative of yours?"

"Bob, it's about your branding."

"Laugh all you want, but the advertising agency loved my idea: I'm making good money..."

'I want a campaign that will fol some of the people some of the time and all of the people all of the time.'

"In the marketplace of ideas, we may not have the best ideas, but we have the best marketing."

The Bargain Brand

'It's perfect ... except the client wants their name to be twice as big as the art.'

"P.J. is right. 'Rock solid financial product' does sound better than 'contrived get rich quick scheme.'"

"I see you've been polishing your brand."

"Oh, you wanted help with corporate branding! Sorry, that is not the service I provide..."

"Don't tell me that you've been to a certain frozen food retailer named after a Nordic Island country in order to purchase supplies of a particular brand of biscuit named after an aquatic, flightless bird living almost exclusively in the southern hemisphe

"You think that's a conflict of interest? Wait until you see his tattoos."