Management Buff Gifts

"Of course I've got good people skills what kind of stupid question is that?"

"I call it The Blame Game."

'I used to lead by example but that was too much work!'

'Why can't I be top banana? I'm a bigger hypocrite than any of them!'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

A fight in the Boardroom.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"What's a debenture?"

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

I'm a self-made man!

CEO du Jour

Voice coming from wooden horse: 'Quiet Fanshaw! If this hostile take-over bid is going to work we've got to get right inside the boardroom.'