Business Leader Buff Gifts

C3EO

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

A fight in the Boardroom.

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"What's a debenture?"

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

CEO with SEO

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'