Business Leaders Gifts

"Sure, we can spend all day nitpicking specifics but aren't sweeping generalities so much more satisfying?"

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

"I think we must accept that things have got to get worse before they can get even worse."

"Will they hate me if I talk?"

'In terms of vision, this company has lost its way. Is anybody here good with GPS?'

"I think a major union selecting a woman to lead them is and excellent idea."

"Sometimes it sucks to be the Captain."

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"We've set up a trap. . . I mean, track, for female hires to get to the top."

"Hard work got me to where I am today and yours will help ensure I stay there."

"For the last time, Bellows, it's stomp stomp clap, we will, we will rock. Now, from the top..."

"There's only one thing I hate more than a 'yes man', and that's a 'no man'!"

"I think Frank needs to work on his corporate image!"

'TransUniverse is on the way to recovery and global exploitation.'

Life is Good

Head in the clouds.

'Okay, we raise the salaries of the Ethics Committee members... THEN raise our salaries.'

'You can see the need for a figurehead...someone to inspire the firm...but I'm beginning to think this attempt at a personality cult has gone a bit too far.'

How does this sound? 'The generous pay award reflects the additional responsibilities, workload and stress of the Chief Executive's position.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

Businesswoman Empowerment

Occu-Pie Mars

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'