Business Leadership Gifts

"I hope this makes it clearer?"

"Now that you are all my little drones, I encourage you to speak my mind."

"Your memos are well-written, but you need to work on creating more uncertainty and fear."

'I'm just the CEO. He has the key to the supply closet.'

Workplace Equality in Action

"Before I know it, this will all be yours."

'I guess business experience counts for more than we thought'

'Ms Jenkins, please inform the 3rd floor I've decided to fire them. And tell floors 4, 7 and 9 that they're next if they don't get it in gear.'

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

"Call me in six months ... I'll be gone by then."

"We need to cut costs, so I will show good leadership and will not drink champagne for lunch everyday. I will drink Prosecco instead."

"Let me just check! Why, yes... Apparently I am the company decision maker."

"I've called this meeting to discuss the high level of absenteeism within this company!"

Thanks for cutting short your Bermuda holiday to quell the boardroom row.

"I warned her about high heels on glass ceilings..."

"Enjoy it while you can, kid. It's a really short hop from 'Geek Genius' to 'Quasi-Creepy, Weird-Looking Old Rich Guy!'"

"Before we adjourn, let the minutes show that our Mary needs to have the last word."

"Henderson, if I want feedback I'll give it to you."

'C'mon, no need to be so formal. You don't have to call me 'Sir' or 'Boss', you can just call me 'God', 'Master', or 'Your Highness'.'

'No wonder you feel chewed and spat out. As a simple office worker, you're at the bottom of the food chain!'

"One minute I was CEO the next I'm the gallbladder in room 405."

"Er! So apart from the crushing workload, lack of support, weak and ineffective management, poor conditions and lack of flexibility was there anything in particular you didn’t like about working here?"

Harry, you got the promotion?

'It's not enough that I'm the big boss... my friends must also be insignificant functionaries.'

"Since I took command of the company I have steered a steady course."

'You can see the need for a figurehead...someone to inspire the firm...but I'm beginning to think this attempt at a personality cult has gone a bit too far.'

'I believe in a 'carrot and stick' approach to motivation. The carrot is not to use the stick.'

The executive board meeting was - once again - delayed due to the tardiness of C.E.O. Godot.

"Josephine, my man!"

Business Attire

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'