Future Business Leader Gifts

No matter who says otherwise,nepotism is not a dirty word.

"My salary market survey reveals that the Nelsons pay two dollars an hour more than you, and their kids are much easier to babysit."

'We've been looking for our future C.E.O., and a star guided us here.'

'Does business school have a football team, Dad?'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

Leadership in the Covid-19 Era

"I suppose just climbing the greasy pole is no longer an option..."

'The downside to my meteoric rise to the top is that I didn't have the opportunity to step on many people.'

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

Yearbook

Satya Nutella

'Don't worry. No one else knows what they are doing either.'

CEO du Jour

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

"My salary app pings when another new male exec at my level is making more than 77% of what I make."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'I have been hearing some disturbing comments about you, Parker, some of your employees think you're a nice guy!'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"I'm telling you, she's the best in her field."

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

'In my rise to the tip I was always aware of a higher power - now I feel I'm ready to take it on.'