Company Leader Gifts

'Congratulations, Fingleworth. You made the 'Million Dollar Club.' We estimate that's what you've cost the company.'

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

"We don't want your sort in here!"

I Have A Closed Mind.

'Don't go too far out on a limb - he'll send you to a branch office.'

'I don't understand why you're so shocked, Mullen. After all, you were always encouraging the stockholders to take a more active role in running the company!'

Executive puts on brave face for board meeting.

Guru, Inc: VP parables, VP Allegories, VP Enigmas, VP Riddles.

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Businesswoman Empowerment

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Butterfly Woman

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"Women Supporting Women!"

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.