Company Captain Gifts

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Captain in a storm

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

Captain steering house through flood.

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

"Yes, we have a retirement plan. It's called a layoff."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

'It says our line printer is obsolete our remote terminal is obsolete, and I'm afraid, we're obsolete.'

Welsh airport arrivals.

'...And for the low visibility positions we can bring people on board who can, you know...do things.'

Sea weed harvest.

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

'The client has asked that you please stop referring to the product as, 'Crappy Crap Crap.'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Lighthouse Beam.