Company Boss Gifts

CEO washroom...private: 'Well, at least it's lonely in here.'

'Business is like a car. It won't run by itself. Except downhill.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

Occu-Pie Mars

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Boss's Desk Says No!

Golfing Boss

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"He likes it."

Build Your Own Portfolio

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Sign - Halt manager crossing