Bosses Gifts

'When I said getting more sleep would help reduce stress I meant AT HOME!'

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs then found out the fire in my belly was acid reflux."

'I love men in uniformity.'

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

'This new 4570mhz system with super high-speed dsl internet connection will allow you to work 50% harder and I'll be able to keep in touch with you from my yacht.'

'A learning experience? When are you gonna have an earning experience?'

'If things don't improve, we'll have to close 3 plants and lay off 50 employees or ask you to live a little more simply.'

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'I knew him when he was just the tea boy.'

"You're 30 now. Where do you see yourself in five years?" "Thirty five."

I use to file your expenses at the office Mr. Henderson, but I never dreamed I'd be one of them.

"Will they hate me if I talk?"

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

Is it true the company is being relocated in Spain?

'Jones, I have asked this officer to arrest you on the grounds that you are a serial time killer.'

'Well you said you wanted to be a director!'

I've always been a man who was able to admit his mistakes and you, Harris, were a mistake.

"Does anyone know where the Leadership class is?"

'Lying down on the job again, Crenshaw?'

(Mousetrapped desk) "Go ahead, Winslow...it's just a small thank-you on the eve of your retirement."

MD surrounded by clowns

Samuel Morse dictates a letter to his secretary.

'I'm not saying that "women-run" businesses are perfect....'

'Sir, one of those one-eyed, pyramid-like things that are on the back of dollar bills is here to see you.'

'I'm making you our receiving manager. Now, go fetch!'

"I don’t understand why they aren’t happy, we give them challenging, demanding work and let them do it 80 hours a week!"

Bob's importance was all out of whack to his job title.

'Hey, replace your divot.'

"That sweet raise everybody's been excited about is finally here. Enjoy it!"

"Hard work got me to where I am today and yours will help ensure I stay there."

"Don't be afraid to speak up and agree with my ideas."

'Would you run this past my 'yes men' and give me their feedback on it?'

'Mr. Worthly will see you now...oh dear! I see it's kicked in again! ...his attention deficit disorder!'

"Bring all the trash cans into my office. It's time for my lunch."

"You finally found something you're good at, Caldwell."