Corporate Bosses Gifts

"So you've been here three years. Just what is your name? I need it for the downsizing list."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Occu-Pie Mars

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."