Boss Gifts

"Miss Harwood, please see to it that the halls are decked."

"Honesty is the best policy, Fernbaugh, but it's not company policy."

"Any questions?"

"Miss Dugan, will you send someone in here who can distinguish right from wrong?"

"It's come to my attention, Wycliff, that you're actually planning a life outside the office."

"I didn't get where I am by trying to please."

"Mr. Dyer says he has no interest in speaking to anyone who would remain on hold for so long,"

"Not bad! ...For a duck."

'I appreciate the grovelling Whitworth, but don't lick my shoes - it ruins the leather!'

"Somewhere out there, Patrick, is the key to increased sales. I want you to find that key, Patrick, and bring it to me."

"I've never understood—what is the difference between morals and ethics?"

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

"And if you do any work, put it here."

'I should fire you! But quite frankly I can have much more fun if I keep you on and make your life a living hell.'

"As C.E.O., I try to look at the big picture, while J.G., as president, sees to the day-to-day operations."

"No one could believe their eyes. Yet there he stood. In just three hours, fifty-one minutes and nine seconds, office supervisor Frank Fernlaw had proven that he very well COULD manage his way out of a wet paper bag, thank you very much."

"The afternoon off?? - it's only a papercut...!"

"When I said I didn't mind you having lunch at your desk, I was thinking of a light snack."

"And to help you spearhead the new office efficiency drive I'm giving you this atlatl."

'This really is an innovative approach, but I'm afraid we can't consider it. It's never been done before.'

Change Management: Here There,,,'We thought we'd put in the detail later,'

'We've considered every potential risk except the risks of avoiding all risks.'

Giving feedback is a complex process.

"Planning,who's got time for planning? I haven't even got time to get dressed in the morning."

"Which brings us to my next point."

"This concludes my lecture on non-verbal communication. Any comments or questions?"

Desk plaque: 'The buck pauses, but does not actually stop here.'

'Mr Frimley, sir, can I have a word about the motivational artwork...'

"As you can see from the flow chart, the problem stems from a lack of direction."

'A mediator hasn't worked, so I brought in everyone's moms.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'I'm trying to decide if it's more likely I know nothing about leading or everyone I work with knows nothing about following.'

'No, this is not Mel's secretary. This is Mel.'

Before Powerpoint.

"I like things to be done my way but by somebody else."