Factory Boss Gifts

Acme Steel Mills: 'What the hell is pig iron?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

Boss's Desk Says No!

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Claus 2.0

Golfing Boss

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

Sign - Halt manager crossing

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

Polluted geese

Working hours.

Employee won't think about work outside of box