Corporate Captain Gifts

'Spock's expertise in M&A deal making was key to the formation of the Federation.'

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

Executive Travel Agency: Ego Trips Our Speciality

'I hate to see you work during your lunch hour, so do me a favor and close your door.'

Man with pirate eye patch and bandana giving a lecture

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

BUS, 'I've got all my money tied up in securitized mortgages or mortgaged securities -- I forget which.'

I'd rather be at the office.

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Businesswoman Empowerment

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Captain in a storm

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"