Corporate Captain Gifts

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

Executive Travel Agency: Ego Trips Our Speciality

'I hate to see you work during your lunch hour, so do me a favor and close your door.'

Man with pirate eye patch and bandana giving a lecture

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

BUS, 'I've got all my money tied up in securitized mortgages or mortgaged securities -- I forget which.'

I'd rather be at the office.

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Businesswoman Empowerment

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

Captain in a storm

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'