Captains Of Industry Gifts

"I believe around the offices I'm referred to as the rich, fat, b***ard. I like it."

'He's a self-made man - he did it without the media.'

"In light of current circumstances, I shall forego my annual bonus."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

A woman wearing a skin sitting behind a desk with a nameplate that reads "Sheena, Queen of the corporate jungle."