Company Presidents Gifts

'I hate to come to you in this way, but as the president of a company continuing to suffer losses, I need to give my best solution...by thinking better in a box.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'