Company Presidents Pillows

'I hate to come to you in this way, but as the president of a company continuing to suffer losses, I need to give my best solution...by thinking better in a box.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late