Company Ceo Gifts

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

'That's really not necessary, gentlemen, but it doesn't hurt.'

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

"On this team we take off our jackets,but we don't loosen our ties."

'It was a good place to work but the owner fell on hard tines.'

'Attention all hands, abandon ship!' (flagship store)

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Looks like we found the issue."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Now that I have your attention...'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."