Head Of The Company Gifts

"It's lonely here at the top. Thank goodness I've never been a people person."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late