Company Chairman Gifts

'As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me ?4000.'

Does that mean if we lose I can't be chairman anymore?

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"As company chairman I'd like to thank you all for participating in the evenings entertainment and saving me �4000."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This position has become very important to the company."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'