Chairpersons Gifts

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This position has become very important to the company."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Golfing Boss

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Bo're'droom

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

'He had a meteoric rise to the top.'

'We haven't improved quality, but we've made it easier to return.'

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

Cut!

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."