Chairperson Gifts

'First the good news - we don't have to pay any corporate taxes this year.'

'Don't just sit there, hire someone who agrees with me.'

"I worked my whole career to get a chair, and this is it?!"

"In order to expedite this meeting, I'm putting you all on mute."

'You don't know how long I've wanted to say this: I'm ruling you out of order, Mr. Roberts.'

'With a brain trust like this I should be chairman for a long time' (Chairman's thoughts).

The Chairperson must be empowered to ensure that no individual or individuals dominate the meeting and discourage others from having their say.

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

'I think he's still having trouble with the concept of 'one man, one vote'!'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

'My favorite position? Chairperson of the Board.'

'Am I boring you?'

'Okay, places everybody! Here comes the Chairman.'

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

"He's always late - he says he doesn't like to be kept waiting."

'Who's going to tell him he's been outsourced?'

'Are there any further nominations?'

'As your new CEO, I want to tell you... we need to talk.'

"There's no need to go round the table - I know who I am."

'The chair takes note of the Minority Report... now on to new business...'

'We will not kick the can down the road... Does anyone know how to use a can opener?'

'I must say Cringley in these days of whizz kids it's refreshing to find a good old fashioned groveller....'

"I don't mind Tibbles coming to the team meeting I just don't think she should be allowed to chair it!"

"Have you tried burping him?"

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Parade of Businessmen

'Don't worry, Skeeter, the Big Guy is really gonna take to you.'

'Gentleman, the chairman has raised an interesting question. Why do we all come to work naked?'

"The secretary will now read the minutes from our last meeting."

'Am I boring you?'

'Dammit, Gentlemen! We need someone who's not afraid to 'poop outside the box'!'

You should live within your means like I do, Henderson.

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

Profits - Congratulations, Sedwick! You are the new chairman!

'No, Alex! This is our ‘A Penny For Your Thoughts' meeting. Stop throwing in your two cents worth!'