Head Of Operations Gifts

"Paul, this is Bill Dudley, our new Head of Operations. Believe it or not, Bill has some pretty unusual ideas on how to improve our gross margin."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

The Department of Mystery - No one really knows who we are or what we do, including us.

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

"I reap and I reap and it's like he doesn't even notice."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Failure/Due Diligence

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

In and Out Sourced.

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

'It's not surprising. The production department is in Spain, the warehouse is in Korea, the accounting division is in Bolivia, the board of directors is in Canada.'

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

"The torch is passed, but since the company is going green, I'm passing a high efficiency, solar powered multi LEC prism spotlight."

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of morale..."

'I think I found the bottleneck, Boss.'

Supply Chain

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

'We need to schedule a few impromptu meetings...'

Oh no ... Outsourcing

A young boy sits behind a lemonade stand with a sign that reads "Lemonade 25¢ - Jay Antosh, Chief Executive Officer".

"We are extremely short-staffed here and you would need to be okay with that. For example I’m the janitor, but I also do interviews in between emptying trash cans."

"Are you sure you haven't overvalued the worth of your business?"