Ship Captain Gifts

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."

'Uh oh, there's an icebreaker coming our way!'

'Women and children first!'

"Well captain, who has right of way in a case like this?"

'Captain! - Captain! Trouble at the pointy bit!'

"So gentlemen, new ship, new crew, what say we start our inaugural team meeting with an ice-breaker?"

'Attention!! All hands on deck!'

'Maybe I should abandon my crew and keep all the treasure for myself!'

"Did you just hear a cow?"

"There's nothing wrong with the ship. We just got a better offer."

"According to the charts, it should be clear sailing after this."

"The crew is getting restless, captain."

That foggy, closed-in feeling will dissipate soon, giving you a clear view of what is ahead.

'Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?'

'Petersen, you're fired!'

"I've got a really uneasy feeling about this voyage. Ever since the Cap'n got his new parrot actually."

"I removed the carpeting and lo and behold, hardwood!"

"I'm sure looking forward to meeting the new management."

'Bugger!'

"I warned you not to argue with the captain."

'Do ships 'like this' sink very often? No madam, only once!'

Intermodal transport.

'We've lashed the first mate to the wheel, sir. I know it's not rough, he just likes it...'

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

Scrutiny on the Bounty

'Were they ALL job-related injuries?'

"Don't panic, I've instructed the first mate to deploy some flares."

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

'What do you mean you though I paid the electricity bill!'

'I want to be the first mountain goat to sail the seven seas...'

Ahab's whale-proof hat.

The captain had longe suspected the impending mutiny. But from who?

'And not a white one among 'em, Cap'n...'

Lifesaver!

Ship's anchor with drainplug.