Sea Captain Gifts

Ships about to hit the fan....

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

'Do ships 'like this' sink very often? No madam, only once!'

Pirate dogs burying bones.

"Getting a signal?"

Sir Francis Drake plays bowls with ship on horizon

Keelhauling Tradition

"Things got really bad when my second wife left me.." Captain Rehab

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

"It's all sounding a bit samey... do you know any Abba?"

'Now blow like hell!'

Talking to rats - "One more crack about my seamanship and you're off the captains table."

'It says here that later in life they were able to patch things up and became best of friends.'

Tugboat tugging Iceberg

"Reverse Course! Mayday! Mayday!"

"Lose the cap."

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

Lifeboat

"Mirror, mirror shinning bright who is the handsomest Captain in sight?"

"The only problem with working for a pirate is that we tend to only sail in the Caribbeans: It gets boring after a while..."

"Take heed, young stranger - these here be dangerous waters...."

"Thar she blows, Cap'n. Room seven."

The updated 'Moby Dick'...

You spoil that dog, cap'n.

Sea yarns.

"The moment he told me he lived in a lighthouse, I knew he was a keeper."

"Captain Hague to crew - steady as she goes!"

The captain realised that if he were to continue to strike fear into mens hearts, he must never be seen in a state of undress.

"Must you always bring your work home?"

Rustic Air

"I don't mind scurvy, being keel-hauled or walking the plank. What I dread is assigned seating at meal times."

"Cap'n FancyPants got himself an i-Patch."

"The sea is my home. Her raging swells are my walls, her foamy depths my bed. I bide in the fathomless mystery of her inky bosom. Because Brooklyn is just crazy right now."

'We're drifting apart.'

The anchor of a fishing vessel caught more fish than the nets