Business Strategist Buff Gifts

'I need yes men. Someone who can convince the customers to say yes.'

'We would save even more money if we delivered mail ONLY on Saturdays...'

"I was hoping for something a little more 'cutting edge'."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

A fight in the Boardroom.

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."