Business Strategist Gifts

'Naughty, nice, nice, nice, naughty, nice. This you call a business plan?'

'Who vetted that leader?'

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

"Run it by legal." "Run it by accounting."

'Run this by 'Legal,' but sprint it by 'Ethics.''

"It's like a business. Concentrate on the bottom lion."

'Almost finished.'

'This is gobbledygook. I asked for mumbo-jumbo.'

"It's not enough to just show up. You have to have a business plan."

'My job is to make decisions. Your job is to make them good decisions.'

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

'...Any ideas for a product?'

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"I know we didn't accomplish anything, but that's what meetings are for."

'Maybe you should reconsider those place cards, Ms Harris?' (Negotiation talks/Good Guys/Bad Guys)

It used to be all about truth and justice. Now, mostly I fight for market share.

"We've talked it over and we've decided that you must not really be a customer."

"You have not shown initiative because I never asked you to?"

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

Boss: 'Change is good!' Employees: 'Who's getting fired?'

'While doing the research, keep in mind there are only two kinds of facts...Those that support my position...and inconclusive.'

'Why do it the easy way when you can do it the right way?'

'There's someone here I'd like you to meet. He's very well-connected.'

'At our last meeting we decided to go for broke. Well, mission accomplished.'

We thought we'd put in the detail later.

'Excellent proposal. Let's take it upstairs and see if it flies.'

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

'Of course, this plan requires that you all work for free.'

"We're changing our sales plan. From now on, instead of trying to get lots of customers, we're going to find just one really,really rich person to buy a whole lot of stuff."

Chinese Whispers In The Boardroom

Our succession plan is we don't talk about it!

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

'And this chart shows our rate of growth.'

"Well, that was fun. But we really should get back down to business."

Dividends fall whilst executive pay rises - 'As you know, ladies and gentlemen, charity begins at home.'