Business Strategy Guru Gifts

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

"Not bad, considering no one knows exactly what we produce or sell here."

Multimedia-Conglomerate-Tasking

'I hate to come to you in this way, but as the president of a company continuing to suffer losses, I need to give my best solution...by thinking better in a box.'

'Krista, please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Robot Parts $5

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

'The check is in the email attachment.'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'