Business Strategy Buff Gifts

"That happy little cloud floating over the Unicorp Building? I want that."

Advertising campaign before product development

Organisational Structure

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

'And exactly how much less did it cost to implement Five Sigma instead of Six, Dwayne?'

"I'm pleased to announce we've developed a new drug that's remarkably effective in generating profits."

'Nothing like a little bad news to create a consensus.'

"We have the concept, but we can't really do anything without investors."

'Inform their C.E.O., C.F.O. and C.O.O. that their proposal is D.O.A..'

'My strategy is to put all our eggs in one basket.'

'Our largest contract is in a mess, the suppliers are failing to deliver, and we have no idea what we are doing. The procurement team sent us their best guy to help sort it out...'

If printer companies ran petrol stations.

"If you want to know what the company future strategy is , why do you want to see the chairman?"

"He thought this would illustrate the company hierarchy more clearly than the organizational chart."

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."

"Actually it's not my business plan. It's my plan for planning a plan."

Caveman with first-mover advantage for selling wheels.

"Let's switch. I'll make the policy, you implement it, and he'll explain it."

'Them...? That's our multi-level marketing crowd...'

'The ethics consultant said our business conduct is immoral. I immediately took action and fired the guy.'

"How about moving in a little closer?"

'Nice work. A fluid work force with a minimum of drips.'

"Instead of a fire sale, why don't we just have a fire?"

'... the firm can't afford to keep you and it can't afford to let you go. We're hoping you do the honorable thing.'

"Around here, Benson, we never speak of pouring oil on troubled waters."

'Here is my proposal for making our department more efficient. It contains some of my best cognitive distortions.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'Eddie, I'm at a private contractor prison. I'll have my people contact your people about buying this joint.'

'You've got to give credit to Jim, he really looks after his customers!'

"All the signs were there. I should have known the company was headed for a nose-dive."

'We've discovered a new system that generates more revenue. We want you to pay us to work here.'

"We follow the Golden Rule here: Do unto others so severely there's no way they can do it to you."

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'

"The award for Best Team Performance In An Endless Meaningless Project goes to..."