Strategy Guru Gifts

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

"I'm afraid the news isn't good. Word has it that consumers are starting to find out what actually matters."

"Today's graphic is small and complicated to shield us from the truth a little while longer."

'We projected every contingency except for our plan actually working.'

'If we happen to experience deja vu, let's make sure we do some things differently.'

"Our manager is young enough to have fresh new ideas!"

"It was right here where we put the entire department of steroids."

'Gentlemen and ladies, today we're going to get down to nuts and bolts.'

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

'Never think outside the box.'

"Follow me."

'As I see it, our only out is to apply for not-for-profit status.'

'We have to plan for the future. It will take us a generation to get out of debt.'

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Can we please just stick to the core business?"

"We need to be more nimble and quick."

Hadcore Pawn

Roger's career as a salesman wasn't off to a great start...

"They said it couldn't be done. I suppose we should have listened to our lawyers."

Stupid Excuse

"Remember, people: A company's best information comes from its customers!"

"People complain about management consultants but without US how would anybody instigate forward facing paradigm shifts in client nourishment and product policy interaction strategisation programmes?"

Middle manager

Graph showing Survival and strategic actions,

'Let's remain open to closing as we are close to the opening.'

Assets On Hand/Familiarity With Landscape

"We need you to come up with another ridiculous idea like you did here."

"Anyone can dream the impossible dream. We need to sell the impossible dream."

"You call this crap 'the spoils of war'? You idiots!! I explicitly ordered to loot first and pillage then!!"

"C'mon men! Our enemies may have rocks but WE have paper! Paper always beats rock!"

"Just when things were getting interesting, peace happens."

"We've worked out how to get to get to there, now we just need to work out where there is."

'With your 4-4-2 formation I don't think you'll see the end of this match.'

"How many of those 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."