Business Strategy Lover Gifts

'Check with legal and find out -- maybe we're a non-profit.'

'Thanks, but this isn't the kind of business model we had in mind.'

'I learned everything I need to know about negotiating from watching professional wrestling.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Robot Parts $5

Hollywood Sign Developers

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

Let's get organized

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.