Broker Buff Gifts

'The market's been all over the place, today.'

"...The Euro has just taken a sharp fall against the bank of toy town."

The day the stock market went UP.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Sales chart is buildings in background.

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

The Importance of Planning Thoroughly in Advance

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"He'll do anything to say in power."

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

Why markets crash.

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'The bad news is that we lost a lot of money last quarter... The good news is that it was a record.'

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."