Broker Gifts

"What should you do? Here's what you should do: invent a time machine, go back sixteen months, and convert everything to cash."

Bull Arm Wrestling A Bear.

Calls of the Wild: Moose Call, Coyote Call and Margin Call.

"I don't know how the gods feel, but sacrificing financial advisors makes me feel happy."

"None of that steady income and security crap! I just want to make a big, fat killing and check out."

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

"What do you mean 'Lets get rid of the middlemen' we are the middle men!"

"Any chance we could stop by my broker's house?"

'What I really miss is being able to blame my broker.'

"His mood is pegged to the dollar."

'I don't know about you, but I really don't like the look of that yield curve.'

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'The crystal ball says to buy and the 8-Ball says to sell.'

'It's not a Ponzi scheme. It's a Ponzi FUND.'

'Three stars means the stock has been approved by Alan Greenspan, Ben Bernanke, and Janet Yellen.'

'My broker uses it to trade hot stocks.'

In case of falling stocks, break glass (bottle of gin).

'Commerical real estates' man excited by peak in sleeping 'Rental rates' monitor

'Forget about it. What's to say that Frobisher's apples are any better than the hedge fund he used to run?'

I was a hunter, then a gatherer, now I broker deals between the two."

'Congratulations, Mr Henderson, Your gross income has just become a totally gross income!'

'Oh no! I've had tons wiped off my footprint.'

Last Emerging Market for 1000 Miles.

'Will broker deals for food'

Invested pot of gold in the stock market.

'Just remember, Eddie, I've always viewed a big dividend as manna from heaven.'

'Sorry - just let me close this deal - then I'm all yours!'

'Activist investors are here to see you and they're wearing boxing gloves.'

"What happens on Wall Street, stays on Wall Street."

"Sometimes you eat the bear, Ellen. Sometimes the bear eats you."

'Merrill Lunch: Invest in our blue-chip soups and sandwiches.'

'The sedative wears off in an hour. With the attached transmitter we can monitor his trading volume and patterns, commissions and mating rituals.'

"It wasn't insider trading. It was free-market capitalism."

Sold in May, but the bull market didn't go away.