Stock Brokers Gifts

"The main reason Bob trades on-line is his dumb mistakes remain anonymous."

"This is what we recommend for motion sickness, due to the stockmarket's rollercoaster ride."

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

"The bull market has peaked! The bull market has peaked!"

'The good news is that we're making huge profits - the bad news is that we won't be getting a bailout.'

'Today, the dollar continued to hold its value in relation to monopoly money.'

'Government economists called it a 'slight market correction'.'

Gravy Train

'This graph may need some explaining...'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

The president's men

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Build Your Own Portfolio

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."