Financial News Buff T-Shirts

The symbol for the euro (?) depicted as the wheel of a wheelchair, symbolising the state of the currency

"Was the Dow to die for today, or what?"

Energy providers go bust

"Relax- just a flight of U.S. mortgage lenders!"

The Euro

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

'The bad news is that we lost a lot of money last quarter... The good news is that it was a record.'

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

Standard & Poor

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."

"And this right here was our weekend in the Hamptons."

I brake for federal bailouts.

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

"Today we welcome back an old friend."

'Stocks plummeted today, on forecasts that tomorrow will be warm and muggy.'

'Mr Sims, in honor of your portfolio, we're flying our flag at half-mast.'

"Right now I'm mostly in cash."

'Money, I'm home!'

'I follow my dad's stocks so I know when to ask for an allowance increase.'

'U.S. stocks surged on news that the government they all hate won't go out of business.'

Mr. Dow meeting Mr. Jones

'But it didn't cost anything, dear! I did it all off balance-sheet!'

'I just checked my portfolio and it's worth a small fortune. Unfortunately, I started with a large fortune.'

America's funniest investment scams

'Wouldn't it be easier if the banks simply merged with the Inland Revenue?'

'He said his first words today - 'dividend reinvest'.'