Financial Market Enthusiast Gifts

'On yer bike!'

"About your stocking up on jelly beans - is there something investors should know?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

'Now that I have your attention...'

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

The day the stock market went UP.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"What's a debenture?"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

Will work for ETFs

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'