Finance Enthusiast Gifts

No-one ever leaves Goldman Sachs voluntarily

'And, unfortunately, accounting is reporting that 'enough' is no longer enough.'

Belt-tightening

"A banker, eh? Can you make a living at that?"

"That concludes my prepared remarks. I will now evade your questions."

'How did your big investment go, dear?'

'Is there anything we can do to repay you other than to repay you?'

-"Why bother to budget?" -"So we can worry BEFORE we spend our money as well as AFTER we spend our money."

'I didn't talk when they had me on the rack, or used thumb screws. But when they started to explain a cash flow statement...'

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

The economic forecast is difficult for an amateur to get right...but the professionals are reasonably confident that the markets will go either up or down in the long or short term.

'Brilliant! A 3-D, holographic, pop-up annual report. Hopefully, no one will notice what a lousy year we had.'

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

'I'm no longer content to live beyond my means...I want to live beyond my wildest dreams.'

'I'm an asset to my company, an investment to my wife, a liability to the environment, and a write-off to my children...'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

'When will it be OK to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

'Right now I'd say our biggest asset is our credit card debt.'

"We can give you a 12% rate if you never withdraw it."

"We want a management buy out - if you'll lend us the money."

'You gave the Research & Development guys an unlimited budget--and they exceeded it.'

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

'Of course I have unpaid loans, what other kind is there?'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

Money leaking from man's sack

'When daddy comes home, tell him you still love him, even though he lost money with stupid trades in emerging markets.'

'To approve your loan, I need to know your net worth and your liquidity.'

'We have a cash flow problem too. Our problem is that your mortgage payments aren't flowing our way.'

"I promise not to make the same investment mistakes I made during the last boom. So, what's hot?"

"This is Ludwig. He's our expert in the inverted yield curve."

'And so, our firm decided to build a new, closer relationship with its investors.'

'Our concept is simple. We intend to lose money on every sale but make it up on volume.'

"Be truthful with me, Ben-what's the difference between mid cap and large cap?"

"It's titled: 'Buy Low, Sell High, Stay Diversified.'"

"Will you stop 'tutting' until I've finished my report."