Finance Aficionado Gifts

Bull and bear checking in for work.

Company man

"Didn't I just give you money for a start-up last week?"

"I'm looking for a hedge against my hedge funds."

'Could you bring in that list of risk factors you downloaded yesterday?'

'Back in the day, you could leverage . . .'

"Of course, you could try another bank, if there were any other banks."

"Daddy doesn't know any magic tricks. Daddy knows accounting tricks."

'In a Washington economic summit, a panel of three economists offered two dozen opinions about the direction of global economics.'

'I just checked my portfolio and it's worth a small fortune. Unfortunately, I started with a large fortune.'

'Unfortunately, this, here, is still a mystery.'

"Sorry, I went bankrupt. If you want payment you'll have to get in line like everybody else."

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

'Don't mind him. He gets this wa every time they start talking about the inverse relationship between bond yields and prices.'

"I only see the tech guru and the financial wizard. No sign of the systems ninja."

"I was at a high-powered investment firm for seven years and a high-powered penal institution for a year and a half."

"Good news - remember all those growth stocks I sold you? They're now value stocks."

'We did bounce around for a while, but as you can see, we're now back on course.'

Cooking The Books.

"We need to investigate a stupidity cluster in accounting."

'All these new regulations will totally alter the way we screw the consumer.'

'My advice is simple: Never spend more than you steal.'

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

'My problem is, I lost my first million before I made my first million.'

'I'm afraid we can't use your other outstanding loans as collateral.'

'Do you realize you're not earning any interest on that?'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'That fugitive looks just like our financial advisor.'

Why financial regulatory laws are required...

'I would caution against long-term investments.'

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'Any time you need more, the money tree is here.'

"After all O'Shaunessy, this is Wall Street."

Even heaven is helpless to stop it.

"I have faithfully made all my mortgage repayments."