Investing Aficionado Gifts

"Good God! Has the dollar fallen that far?"

At least their adviser was good at explaining things.

Investments free bumper stickers read 'I Love $'.

'Ms. Clayton, we're counting on you to reverse this trend...'

Unlevel playing field

'The good news is your portfolio results were achieved without any performance enhancing drugs.'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'Now that I have your attention...'

The day the stock market went UP.

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Profit

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"What's a debenture?"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Wall Street Couch

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Day trading.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'