Financial Aficionado Gifts

Bull Arm Wrestling A Bear.

'Sorry, but under the table donations aren't tax-deductible.'

'As you can clearly see in this Pie Chart...something is eating into our profit margins!'

"What happens on Wall Street, stays on Wall Street."

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'The financial crisis is unlikely to worry me: I lay a new Golden Egg every day...'

"...And how, may I ask, do you plan to invest the loot?"

"To mom, apple pie, and foreign investors who keep our economy humming."

'That's what I'm getting my dad for Father's Day. He lost his in the stock market.'

"The people who were running the economy last year... are running the economy this year."

"We've lowered our IPO price so many times, the Street's referring to it as an Initial Pathetic Offer."

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)

Stock Market Analyst.

'...My hurt'n' blue chip blues.'

'I'm glad our parents and grandparents didn't let environmental issues hurt our financial futures.'

'Keep an eye on it -- It tends to goof off.'

Stocks & Bonds - 'What, Me, Worry?'

"Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?"

'Hmmm. I believe that I can help you.'

'I love a man with a big bonus.'

Vulture Capital

"When we selected our keynote speaker, he had not yet been indicted for SEC violations."

Tax man has in/out desk boxes labeled, Billing and Hounding.

"I'm very security conscious. I'd like my picture printed on my checks."

"The markets seem to be a little jittery this morning."

"I tell you, I don't like the looks of it."

"You're accused of insider trading. Got any stock tips to pass on to lighten your sentence?"

"Chasing my tail was ok when I was young, but now I'd like to chase investment yield."

"Judging by the belt and suspenders, I sense you're a risk averse investor."

Wall Street: Panic, don't panic

"Even my childhood dreams were of tax cuts."

'How are our shares doing?'

"We like your determination to develope a new investment strategy."

Members of the New York Stock Exchange