Financial Enthusiasts Gifts

'We're worried about your ability to lend us money.'

The Tooth Accountant

'Giving back to the community is an excellent tax write-off strategy.'

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"Well, if I shouldn't invest with my emotions, whose emotions should I invest with?"

"It covers up all the debt."

'What I really want for my birthday is a first baseman's mitt, all I get is paper...'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Annual profits,

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"#Win!"

Desk plaques: 'Money isn't everything' '...Which makes it no less awesome in my opinion.'

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)