Finance Aficionados Gifts

"Hear no evil...See no evil...Just evil."

'It says here you were finance manager for your fellow inmates on cell block 3. This does raise other concerns.'

'We've consolidated your loans into one loan shark.'

'Where did you expect he'd be?'

'Oh yeah? Well my dad bailed out your dad.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Banks Profits to Support.

'Unfortunately, our computer trading software just sent your money to someone in Nigeria.'

The most bizarre life form Gyork had ever encountered.

Merchant Bankers - Patience is a virtue, anyone displaying it will be dismissed

'I can't work out whether having our mortgage rate increased by a bank which we own 82% of makes us better or worse off.'

'The Banksters are Still Too Big to Fail!'

'Bailing out works. We've got stability!'

'I think you should conquer Switzerland now, before interest rates go up any higher.'

'It's from my stockbroker - he'd like to join us.'

'Around here we don't play 'good cop-bad cop'. We play 'good bank - bad bank!''

Begging Banker is new kid on the block.

Your Money Back if and when We Feel Like It.

'My parents are out bonding at an annuities seminar. Would you like to leave a message?'

Shall we check it oversight by oversight?

"I need a professional money manager. The success of my investment portfolio is predicated on my winning the lottery."

"I'd like to open a joint account...preferably with someone who has a lot of money."

Fat Cats 483 - Watchdog 0

IRS AUDIT DEPARTMENT, 'It's a bet -- if I don't take the next one down, I owe you a hundred bucks.'

"Okay, how about some people are poverty rich but asset poor?"

"Wear black tomorrow, Miss Price...we're going to have a customer cull."

Public unions.

'With so little being done, we're out to collect money to reduce the deficit...'

'Does my bonus look big in this?'

'You say that you were on a hefty pension from the bank? Well, I'm not surprised you're down here then...'

"We have a lot in common - neither of us pays income tax."

"It's scary. These new kids don't want to wait until they're thirty-five for their five million."

Bank: Deposits Insured by the US Social Security Trust Fund.

'I Thought you paid the bills LAST month.'

Of course you are financially protected!