Finance Enthusiasts Gifts

Sure, it helps to be a blood-sucking parasite, but that's not all it takes to be a stockbroker...

Businessman with two boxes: 'Nothing Ventured' and 'Nothing Gained'.

'Well Gentlemen...One down, one to go.'

'This is a big day. Little Jimmy received his first credit card offer this morning.'

'My 4 year old granddaughter received a credit card application last week. I want to know why it wasn't ours!'

'Congratulations! It's a tax credit!'

Long queue for teacher recrutiment.'They're all bankers'

Bertha's: A bank that's more than a bank. It's also an insurance broker and a beauty parlor.

'Do you offer credit for the smaller businessman?'

STRIP *Bloomerbery Money * Investing in your own funds

'I used to chase cars. Now I chase yield.'

'Did I get this right? You fear that there's a hedge fund manager in your cupboard ready to take over your company at the first opportunity?'

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

'This graph may need some explaining...'

Loan shark

'Please don't go! We're dropping the debit card fee, look here's your five bucks back.'

"Your mother and I have decided to introduce negative pocket money."

HSBC Scandal

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."

Dipped into Principal.

"Apparently, it stands for 'Expect Zilch'!"

Security/Savings

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

'Just a personal question - who audits your tax return?'

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'Looks like another rash of stock sell-offs.'

'The bank returned our loan application.'

College Finance Education

You're always trying to get more interest from your money? I'm always interested in it.

'The way I see it... we call for a reverse split... and then, we split.'

'We can lend you the money for a new house. But how will you repay it?'

Luxury Lavatories - The Home of Qualitative Easing

It's ironic, these days money goes a lot faster, but not as far as it used to.

My dad's golden parachute is bigger than your dad's golden parachute. Well my dad lost more in his 401k!

"Fraud or redistribution!"