Financial Aficionados Gifts

TELLER, 'You're not just a number to us, sir -- there's a whole bunch of hypens and letters, too.'

Advent Calender.

'Sorry, we can't do you a 200 mortgage!'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"What's a debenture?"

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

"I think I just solved my cash flow problem."

Shop struggles to sell books about recession: '90 per cent off on all credit crunch books' (Titles incluude: Beat the Crunch! Who's to Blame? We're all Doomed!)

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'My husband is very sensitive. He cries when he sees sunsets, old romantic films, and falling values of his 401(k)'

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

"You're a fine one to talk about my spending!"

Crony Capitalism (Always Follow the Money Trail)

Warning that Inflationary Policies Could Lead to Crash on Wall St

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Stock market investment advice

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

I love it when you speak Wall Streetese. Say 'to the upside' for me.

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."