Financial Enthusiast Gifts

Man with a Plan

"You can afford to retire at 65, but you'll need to die at 70."

'Look, I told you, I'll come and have dinner just as soon as I've broken even.'

Computer gives thumbs down to loan application.

Jenny's Lemonade and Mortgage Refinancing (with backward 'e's).

"I take it your credit score has gone up?"

'I started out hunting, then went into gathering and from there I developed an interest in commodity investing...'

'Divorce? Heavens, no. I have a 30 year fixed marriage.'

"Volatile is the new calm."

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

"....better luck next time."

'Follow me. It's the stock market. It's gone this way.'

"junior, I'll explain 'taxation' to you, if you explain 'crowdfunding' to me."

'Your in great shape...'

'The acting was awful and the plot was thin, but the mortgage rate looked interesting.'

"And on this spot the bank assisted it's first borrower."

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

'Think of it this way, without the help of a professional, it could have taken you twice as long to go broke.'

"Nice guess, Derak, but the bank runs of 1930 were not 10K charity races!"

'Have you been reading the financial pages again?'

ACME LOAN COMPANY, 'YOU ONLY GO AROUND ONCE!'

Rising Food Prices

Banking Queue

"This automated stock trading app can halt rallies or downturns, depending on your market strategy."

'Yeah. It was a good day.'

"Impressive! Thanks for bringing structure to our concept! It turns out, external consultants are worth every penny after all!"

Financial Cloud Nine.

"It's a temporary austerity measure, sir - There's a ten-day waiting period for withdrawals."

"Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it."

Euro Idealism

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

'His shares are all that's sexy!'

The Bullish World

'What do you mean, you didn't make money? Your stocks beat the point spread, didn't they?'

'But I gave you a cheque book two days ago.'